By Tatiauna Miller

Whomever said “Kids are like tiny drunk people” didn’t lie. My child and I spend a lot of time together and as I look back on our daily interactions, I think I need to check her juice box. She’s has no filter, zero balance, an emotional rollercoaster, slow as a sloth (her words) and she still wears all her meals. That’s basically every experience with a drunk person I’ve had all wrapped into one cute little package.

Parents already know this but kids will tell all your business! You can threaten them with death and they will still spell their guts. “Child, if you tell anyone, I will kill you!” They will nod their little heads and then turn around and literally tell anyone. Exhibit A, my daughter’s friend, told me as soon as she saw me that her mom lost her job yesterday. She then whispers to me that her mom told her not to tell anyone. What the hell kid, you couldn’t even wait 24 hours! My daughter likes to tell everyone my bowel movement schedule. She told all my neighbors at the same time, I was running inside to go poop. She said I poop every day at the same time, I was so mad at her but I had to laugh it off instead of looking like a crazy person in front of the neighborhood.