By Tatiauna Miller

I can’t poop in public. According to WebMD I have what is called “Toilet Anxiety”, which eventually leads to cancer and death, because everything leads to cancer and death on WebMD. So, like a dog, I’ve trained my body to only “let go” in a certain place and when I go out of town this truly messes me up. I’m literally full of shit until I can’t hold it anymore. Not only can I not “GO” comfortably in public or out of town, if you throw other people in the mix it’s a full blockage, I can’t even talk on the phone and poop. I need relaxing music and I must have something to read. If I don’t have a book, magazine, phone, even a shampoo bottle to read than I have trouble going. Pooping is a very important ritual for me and my entire family knows the deal, even the dog! Sometimes I have to kick my dog out of my room because I can hear him breathing outside the bathroom door and it’s distracting the process.