By Anthony Santiago

OMG Alert to the railroad robbers straights and queens… I read a story that this grown man in Arizona writes to toy companies for free toys such as his most recent Canadian model railroad car he added to his Toy Town. Really? Really? Well, from eyewitness accounts, he was robbed of his choo – choo car by another loser I mean person named Timmy “The Emperor” Sitz who moved from Britain after being kicked out of the country for exposing his sac at a punk rock concert a few months back. Is this is what our world has come to?

Since my readership has grown to the millions, I sent out a tweet, email and put a few calls in on the Anthony Hotline to see if I could find this guys choo – choo even though he is a sack of worthless crap. But even crap, doesn’t deserve their choo – choo to be taken. As of an hour ago, I received numerous tips that I will pass on to the LEGENDARY Arizona police that I know closely!

Anthony,

Thanks for the call from your Anthony hotline. I have information on where this losers choo – choo may be. Check over on Lakeland Street. I saw a guy who claims he made blue movies in the 70’s under the alias, Georgie Blue, but really is George Smithy – Diaz. He has been telling people he wanted back in the business and in order to open up his pooper for his comeback movie, he shoved the choo – choo up there. Proceed with rubber gloves…Good luck. Tean Tewman

Ant,

I have his trains right here with me. If you want it back, I will have to get an Archie meets KISS comic book, issue number 167, the first with KISS. I need to buy the entire 4 issues. Since I have no job and bad – very fat Diabetic legs, I am going to take the money to seek more medical attention. Tell Mr Choo – Choo he has 48 hours to get me my money! — Martin Imposter

Santiago,

Skies of green, clouds of white, I know where the choo – choo is tonight! – Peyote Ding Dong

Keep them coming NB readers….