I went to the movies this weekend to see JACK AND JILL, the “comedy” starring Adam Sandler, the ugly guy that always casts himself with an attractive wife. I am always into movies where men wear women’s clothing because I do love wearing it myself, and I don’t get offended when they make these movies either. Some of my friends have threatened to hit Sandler with their purses for insulting transvestites, but I told my friend, Baby Benderson (Stage Name) that violence is not the answer. You wouldn’t want Baby Benderson after you. She’s 400 pounds of transvestite fury!
Sandler plays both roles, twins. Jill, Sandler in drag, is visiting for Thanksgiving and ends up staying two months , as Jack, Sandler not in drag, tries to close a deal. Now, because Sandler has the mind of a 13 year old dimwit, he must incorporate diarrhea jokes. Please, somebody give this idiot a Cleveland steamer, and I’m talking right in his face! Jill is constantly farting or crapping and that is supposed to equal funny. Guess what dummy. It doesn’t!
Why Al Pacino agreed to do this movie is beyond me, but it must have been the money. OMG! This movie was so bad and Sandler is so unfunny, but he has enough money to keep producing this crap.
My man, Leonard Nimoy, walked out about 20 minutes into this movie, for the record. He sat down and said: “Don’t you dare try that popcorn trick with me again,” and then kept saying: “Sandler needs to give me a plumpkin for this mess!” Nimoy would storm out and get into a fistfight with the usher. He’s getting unbearable people.
To sum up Adam Sandler, I wrote a poem:
Jack and Jill went up the Cleveland Steamer
By Georgie Girl – Santiago
I went to see JACK AND JILL hoping that I would be amused
But when the movie finished, I didn’t laugh once…I was very confused
Adam Sandler thinks he’s funny but he’s the only true joke
If he wants to be a woman, I’ll gladly give him a poke
Did you like MR. DEEDS? LITTLE NICKY? DON’T MESS WITH A ZOHAN?
I didn’t think so…as you can see, this guy shouldn’t have a fan
But he’s got money and he’s sucking the right knob
Let this be a lesson, get on your knees if you want a job
If you told me twenty years ago that Sandler would be a star, I would say you’re a dreamer
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get Adam Sandler a dirty filthy Cleveland steamer
If you want a crap joke, we’ll give you one
Baby Benderson will show up and you’ll be done
So, avoid this movie and see another flick
WRATH OF KHAN is good, but Nimoy is being a prick
So see something else.